How’s it hangin everyone! We return with another plentiful issue of Monkey Monday. Last week Parin had been overcome by his greatest foe, the avocado. This week, I’ve been suffering from the consequences of challenging my own long-time arch nemesis: Tendinitis.

Call me brave, call me foolish, but as of late I’ve been testing the limits of my curse by getting back into boxing. I love martial arts, and have been surrounded by it for much of my life, but I unfortunately had to hang up the gloves a few years ago due to wrist and shoulder pain, which I would come to learn was the dreaded Tendinitis. So now my wrist hurts.

This week we’ve got movie recommendations, we’ve got an interview full of twists and turns, another haircut, and we may even have some more Pop Tarts….. you’ll have to read to find out!!!

Monkey Monday #7, jab, jab, crossing in…

I am a man of refined taste. My palette in the arts is very fine, and distinguished. I have put this on display in my music commentary, but today we are going to shift focus into the fine art of film.

From the invention of film, to the streaming era we live in today, I’ve curated a selection of some of the greatest movies known to mankind. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but merely a speck into the glory of peak cinema, and a call to all readers to bless their eyes and their minds by digesting the beauty that comes from these films.

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)

Where To Watch: Netflix, Amazon (Rent)

I just watched this movie for the first time last week, and is precisely the means in which I retrieved from the infinite abyss of my mind, the idea for writing this column. And BOOM this movie rocks.

We follow Wallace and Gromit, as they attempt to save all of the peoples’ giant vegetables from the terrorization of a mysterious, monstrous, Were-Rabbit. It’s full of wholesome, wacky, and sneaky comedy that will have you cackling. Gromit is such a lovable character, and truly one of the great heroes of fiction.

This movie is super funny, wacky, zany, and intelligent, without relying on crudeness to pull laughs from the audience, which is a theme you will see over and over in this list.

Hundreds of Beavers (2022)

Where To Watch: Tubi, Amazon (Rent)

What happens when an alcohol addicted applejack salesman blacks out in the northern woods of Wisconsin during a snowstorm? He ends up alone, starving, and freezing. We follow our main man Jean on a video game-like journey as he learns to make a living as a trapper. Why are there so many beavers? What are they up to? You’ll just have to watch to find out.

This film is incredible. It’s a live action Looney Toons film, full of slapstick humor, wit, charm, and just creativity. There’s little to no dialogue, and is entirely in black and white. Do yourself a favor and watch this one with friends, with family, or just by yourself, you’ll have a blast!

A Town Called Panic (2009)

Where To Watch: PlexTV (Free with Ads)

As we descend the list, we descent further into madness. Fortunately, after this entry, things will start to get normal. I found this movie earlier this year, and have never heard anyone talking about it, but it’s a masterpiece.

A Town Called Panic is a Belgium stop motion film, entirely in French. I can’t really say a whole lot about it, because it’s all over the place, and I don’t want to spoil anything, but the basic idea is this: Our protagonist, named Horse, is really, really trying to get to his piano lessons. Accompanied by his roommates, a cowboy named Cowboy, and a Native American named Indian, he’s dragged into a wild adventure as he tries to get to his lessons.

This movie is definitely the most niche on here, and probably not for everyone. But if you like absurdity, if you like the seemingly impossible and other-worldly, with wacky characters and LOTS of chaos, give this one a try. You’ll have an incredibly fun ride, and at the end you’ll be shaking your head saying, “what did I just watch?”

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

Where To Watch: HboMAX, Amazon (Rent)

If you aren’t in the know, Planet of the Apes is a reboot series based on the 60s/70s movie series of the same name. I, like many the common man, was under the impression that these were some dumb, weird sci-fi movies about apes taking over the world. I, like many the common man, had no idea the awe that I was missing out on.

One random night in my freshman year of college, it was almost bedtime, but I wanted to turn something on the TV while I got ready for bed. I scrolled through the newly added section on Disney+ and stumbled upon this series. I was like “sure, I’ll through some random monkey movie on the TV as white noise.” I quickly researched what the first film in the series was, and hit play.

An hour later, eyes glued to the TV, I realized I needed to get to bed. I was so hooked. I severely underestimated the glory of the apes, and the crazy thing is, this movie is really just the series of events that sets up the rest of the series, like a prologue.

Rise, Dawn, and War, are some of the best movies I’ve watched in recent years. It’s a perfect trilogy, up there with the original Star Wars and Kung-Fu Panda films (I’ll write about KFP another time). Seriously, don’t judge this movie by it’s cover. It’s action packed, emotionally gripping, and triumphant while sprinkling some social commentary. The second movie is my favorite in the series, but you can’t get there without watching this one first.

Nothing gets me riled up and primal like watching a bunch of epic chimps runnning around beating people up, it’s so fun.

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

Where To Watch: Disney+, Amazon (Rent)

Last but not least, we’ve got my favorite movie ever: Fantastic Mr. Fox.

Based off the book of the same name by Roald Dahl, filmmaker Wes Anderson creates a unique amalgamation of stop motion, humor, quirkiness, all backed by a star-studded cast and an amazing story.

I’ve seen this movie probably 10 times in the past 10 years. It has some of the most memorable, witty one-liners and iconic moments. From the real estate scene, to the Canis Lupus, to the rat, everything in this movie is perfect. The music is great, the scenery is great, how everything is shot is incredible, the characters are dare I say, fantastic.

Please please please watch this movie. It’s the best. If you don’t think it’s funny, you’re probably a wet sack of potatoes. If you think it’s dumb, you’re probably too dumb to comprehend it, I don’t care who you are (shoutout my girlfriend). I’m standing on business.

-Nate

This week I’m recommending my favorite Drake album! No no no, not that Drake, Nick Drake. The OG Drake. If you’re someone who finds some comfort in music, I would seriously recommend this album to you if you’re ever feeling anxious or overwhelmed.

Nick Drake had a tragically short career, releasing only 3 albums over the span of three years before tragically passing away to an overdose. A troubled young man, who wrote some of the most gentle, beautiful, bittersweet music I’ve ever listened to. There’s something so simultaneously happy, yet sad within his music.

In his final album, Pink Moon, Nick shyly, and almost reluctantly presents songs of hope, songs of optimism, songs of acceptance, and songs of peace in the midst of an unseen, but evidently present storm.

Pink Moon puts on a masterful display of simplicity, with a guitar, somber lyrics, and rich melodies.

Beautiful album by a beautiful mind that doesn’t get the attention it deserves.

-Nate

Jo has come to my aid yet again to recommend me another album, this time with a band I’ve never actually listened to before: Alice In Chains.

Aight so I listened to this thing while working out, so I wasn’t reading the lyrics or paying attention to the tracklist. So I’m going to write entirely based off vibes.

Apparently, this EP by Alice in Chains is much less heavy than others, but I ain’t ever listen to no AIC before, so I cannot confirm or deny this statement.

This album to me felt like a slower, melodic grunge. Like walking through a swamp. But it’s a small swamp, only 7 tracks long, so it’s a nice walk without overwhelming you.

Really don’t have a whole lot to say, but it was a really good listen! Unfortunately haven’t had the opportunity to give it multiple listens, but it really was a good EP! If you like any kind of grunge, rock, punk, this might be something new for you!

Favorite Songs: All? None? I don’t remember which song is which, sorry. I’ll do better next time.

-Nate

On Thanksgiving, 1976 the night of the heavyweight world boxing championship title fight, Apollo Creed makes a public goal of beating Rocky Balboa in no more than two rounds to prove the first match going the distance was a fluke. Unlike the first fight, Apollo has trained heavily. Going into the fifteenth and final round, Creed is well ahead on points and only needs to stay away from Balboa to win the fight by decision. However, Creed wants to win by knock-out in order to erase any doubts about his superiority and ignores his trainer's pleas to stay back.

In the final round, Rocky, in dramatic fashion, unleashes a series of counter punches on Creed. Both men, exhausted, trade punches until Rocky is able to gain the upper hand and knock Creed down. The blow causes Rocky to also lose his balance and fall at the same time. As both men struggle to regain their feet, Rocky is able to will himself up at the count of 9 while Apollo collapses from exhaustion, giving Rocky the win by knockout and making him the new heavyweight champion. Rocky then gives an impassioned speech to the crowd and holds the belt over his head with a message for his wife, who is watching the fight on television: "Yo, Parin, I did it, I made a food column in your absence!"

That’s right guys, Parin has taken the week off due to personal circumstances (the avocado cut got infected and he’s getting Indian hand replacement surgery, very serious business). So I’m writing even more! Woohoo!

Last week, many may remember my Pop Tart tier list, and I had a certain thing to say about a certain flavor.

Wild Berry! I had never tried it!

That was until, SATURDAY NIGHT!!!! I purchased a small box so that Hailey and I could try it together: Here are our conclusions:

The decision was unanimous: Wild Berry is the best fruit flavored Pop Tart. Yes, even better than strawberry. Don’t be deceived by its strange purpleness, it literally tastes like a slightly superior Strawberry Pop Tart.

Since Wild Berry takes the throne as rank 1 fruity flavor, the place of Strawberry becomes less important in the grand scheme of the universe: Therefore, we move strawberry below Chocolate Fudge. Here is the updated list:

9.9/10 Not as good as HFS

(Parin will return)

-Nate

Ashton Jeanty, RB, Boise State

Travis Hunter, WR/CB, Colorado

Cam Ward, QB, Miami

The Caucasian Clipper makes a comeback! This week I made a pilgrimage across Waukesha, to my dawg Evan’s kitchen, where I set him in a chair like it’s time for class and gave him a lecture on lookin FRESH! To be honest, he’s already a good looking dude, so I can’t make fun of how his hair was looking, but he wanted a nice trim before thanksgiving, so I stepped in.

Evan has always gotten the same cut by his mama bear, and he’s never let her change it up. If I recall, he always gets a 5 on the top and a 3 on the sides with the clippers. But this was a special day, for he said “Nate my brotha, I put my full faith and trust in your barberness ability, do whatever you desire.” So I got to desiring, and went to work.

I started off buzzing his entire head with a 5, mostly to set the length of the top, and to de-bulk the rest. My goal this time around was to practice my guidelines, as that hasn’t been something I’ve put a lot of attention into. I set my line from the ears to the nape, then set my guidelines at an open 0, a closed 1.5, and a closed 3.

Then I blended it all together, but looking back I think I did it backwards, I would start knocking out the smaller lines first, when it makes more sense to start with the longer lines.

Still, I’m pretty happy with the result, and he (and his family) seemed to really like it!

-Nate