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- Monkey Monday #12
Christmas is already here! The older I get, the faster it seems to arrive. Have safe travels during this season everyone, especially as the weather gets dicey up here in the north. To those who are celebrating the birth of Christ, or to those who celebrate for other reasons, we hope this can be a time of joy, rest, and thanksgiving for you all!
Merry Christmas and happy holidays!
Monkey Monday #12, eggnogging in….
Matthias the Warrior
“T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That was, until the last day of the fall semester”
Last week, as I walked into the music building for my final exam of the semester (it wasn’t really an exam, but I digress), someone walked from the direction of our classroom, saying “did you see the mouse?”
I had not. So I took a walk over to see if the legends were true, and lo and behold, there was a chill little dude scampering around!
 fleeing |  hiding |
I asked my professor what he wanted to do, and he said he was probably going to call public safety, who will probably call pest control. But I knew we could free this lil guy much sooner, and without him being executed.
So Quan, our friend Sarah, and myself, went in and just watched our new friend, whom I dubbed Matthias (which comes from my favorite book, Redwall, which is about a mouse warrior named Matthias, it has nothing to do with Dr. Matthys).
We found that Matthias was quite scared (shocker), and kept running between 2 spots:
 His spot by the computer |  His spot in the shade |
After analyzing his movement patterns, I, the mastermind of the operation, formulated a plan. I flipped a table, and dragged it near Matthias to create a wall. Quan caught on, and tried flipping another table, but he wasn’t strong enough to maintain control, and once flipped, it slammed it into his shin, so I moved his table into position, creating the second wall.
The plan was this: We make 2 walls into the corner that Matthias was hanging, with the only opening being directly into an empty garbage bin, then we can take the bin, and release him outside of the building. Here’s a sketch:
Master Plans
Sarah really wanted to do the herding, so we found a stick like thing, to scare and herd Matthias in the right direction (no contact required). Quan did nothing, while I was guiding her with my words of wisdom. With our three-person team, we got him in the bucket super easily!
 Matthias trying to climb above the walls |  In the Bucket! |
Once in the bucket, we showed Dr. Matthys our work, and took Matthias outside and away from the music building, but near some other buildings so he has options, and let him out gently. He was scared to leave at first, but once he realized we were on his team, he ran off!
Mission Accomplished! Shoutout Matthias, hope you’re doing well.
(Go read Redwall)
-Nate
Pick of the Week
For Christmas time I decided to hit y’all with some cozy, folky music, cause that just feels right. And luckily, I’ve got just the right album: “Punisher” by Phoebe Bridgers!
Punisher is Phoebe’s sophomore album, and my favorite work of hers. One of the biggest “indie” artists currently, Phoebe is a master at beautiful, gentle, warm sounds with sad, harrowing lyrics.
This album has it all. There are upbeat bops like Kyoto, slow, beautiful songs like Halloween, devastating tracks like Savior Complex, all tied up with the grand, finishing bow that is, I Know The End.
I don’t really have a whole lot of lore or anything for this pick. Just give it a listen. It’s really good, that a lot of people can enjoy!
-Nate
Is it Ripe?
man.
Adrianne Lenker is the singer for folk band Big Thief, whom I’ve talked about here before. But she does solo work as well, which I’ve heard is really good things about, but until this day I hadn’t yet given a listen. And man, I’ve been missing out.
songs by Adrianne Lenker is a beautiful, somber, melancholic and sweet album, pretty much entirely composed of Adrianne’s vocals and guitar. The lyrics are so beautiful, her voice is so beautiful, the guitar is so beautiful, I just can’t believe it.
Coming home from school is always a difficult time for me, and I never look forward to it (this is no fault to my family, they are amazing and I love them all, shoutout my family). So after the long, 6 hour drive with my girlfriend Hailey, I had the rest of the 40 minutes by myself after dropping her off to prepare for settling back in at home. This is the album I put on, and I don’t think I could have made a better choice for this tiring, cold, snowy sunset drive.
This album is really something special, and wins the first ever ripeness of 10 in this newsletter. Clairo better watch out, I’m starting to find some more comfort food.
Favorite Songs: anything, heavy focus, come zombie girl, not a lot just forever
-Nate
Ripeness: 10
Interview Time!
This week we’ve got perfect-pitch-haver Jamie!
Parin’s Palette
sorry guys idk what he’s thinking but Parin is forcing me to use this photo 😭 -Nate
Hello my stylish crickets, this week I went to Cheesecake Factory with my best friends Nilay and Subhash. I got a Brioche Breakfast Sandwich that contained eggs, ham, bacon, and tomatoes. It was solid, but I felt like it was missing something.
Overall, 6.23/10
Brioche Sandwich
Nilay got a plate of Nachos, I had some too. It was pretty good Nachos are Nachos.
8.24/10
Nilay and his nachos
Subhash got a Quesadilla. Fun fact if you asked Nilay two years what Subhash got he would say "cuh-say-deeyuh." Subhash seemed pretty happy with the quesadilla.
?/10 (Didn’t Try)
Subhash and his cuhsaydeeyuh
Lastly, we split a strawberry cheesecake. It was pretty good but for some reason the after taste is what playdoh tastes like. Subhash only had the whipped cream (disgusting)
Overall 5/10
 Cheescake |  |
Ballboy Ben’s Ball Update
Cincinnati Bengals
JOE SHIESTY BABY!!! (that is one of Joe Burrow’s nicknamesfor those who are unfamiliar (Joe Burrow is the quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals for those who are unfamiliar)). The Bengals were supposed to be a Super Bowl contender again this season. Instead, they have struggled this season to win any games at all. Technically, at the time of writing this, they are not eliminated from making the playoffs. But for a team that started the year 9th in Super Bowl odds, they have been STRUGGLING.
Joe Shiesty
The weird thing is ... their offense has been unbelievably good! They are putting up more points than almost every team in the league. Joe Burrow leads the league in passing yards and Ja’Marr Chase leads the league in receiving yards and receiving touchdowns. But their defense is HORRIBLE. Like really reallybad, and it is costing them games.
The Bengals also have just found some dumb or unfortunate ways to lose. They lost in week 1 to the Patriots by 6 points, which should have been their easiest game of the season. Then they lost in week 2 to the Chiefs by 1 point on a controversial pass interference call. The Bengals also managed to lose to the Ravens in weeks 5 and 10 by a combined 4 points! It has just been a horrible season for the Bengals, which stinks because they are quite a fun team to watch!
Ja’Marr Chase
Before I go, I need to give a shoutout to Mike Gesicki, the tight end for the Bengals. He has the funniest and best griddy of all the griddiers in griddyland! The picture below is from his time with the Dolphins, but it still demonstrates those moves!! Go check it out when you’re bored, it’ll make you realize how bad the average NFL celebration is!
Mike Sickgridi
Ashley’s Animals
Reindeer!
Reindeer, also called caribou, live in arctic tundras and forests of North America, Russia, Greenland, and Scandinavia. |  |
Both male and female reindeer grow antlers, but lose them at different times of the year. Males shed them in November, while females shed in Feburary! (This means Santa’s sleigh is pulled by an all female team, slay sleigh queens.) Also, shedding looks super metal, and does not hurt the reindeer. |  |
Reindeer have cloven hooves that help them stand on snow, soft ground, and slushy ice without sinking in, working as a natural snowshoe! |  |
Reindeer fur is made of two layers of hollow tube-like follicles that are naturally somewhat waterproof, trap heat, and help them stay afloat in water, like a fuzzy life jacket! |  |
Reindeer are the only animal to have fur covering their nose. This helps them warm the air before it enters their body, making it easier for them to use their powerful sense of smell to find food under the snow, like lichen, fungi, ferns, and birch or willow shoots! -Ashley |  |
Quan Quotes
“You guys don’t eat your pets here?”
Verse Of The Week
“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,
“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!”