Good morning my hysterical hooligans, we have made it to another Monday! I hope you are all ready to tackle another week, because, well, this week is going to happen whether you like it or not. Are you going to tackle the week, or will the week tackle you? Hmm wise words, wise words, ta ta. Anyways, we’ve got another issue of Monkey Monday for you, enjoy!

Also, I would like to announce that our newsletter has hit 100 subscribers! (WOOHOO!!!!) This means basically nothing, but I reckon it’s still kind of cool. Thanks y’all, we really might make it out of the streets.

Monkey Monday 3 #3, nosing in…

Recently got back after my first ever Jiujitsu competition. Let me tell y’all about it!

The tournament was an “in house” competition, meaning it was just our gym, and a few other select gyms we have close relationships with. This is awesome for a few reasons:

To provide some context, since I’m fairly confident 99% of you reading know next to nothing about Jiujitsu, there are two “Divisions”, or styles of Jiujitsu. There’s “Gi”, where you roll around in the traditional Jiujitsu Gi, and “No-Gi”, where you’re not in a gi.

My Gi bracket was up first. Now you may have just thought, “Nate, why does it matter if you’re in a gi or not?” This is a fair question. See when you’re in the gi, you (as well as your opponent) can establish grips on each others sleeves, lapels, and pants REALLY effectively. There are also many techniques (especially chokes) that can only be done to an opponent in the gi.

There were 4 guys in my division (we all did no-gi as well, so it was the same pool). We ranged from 135-155lbs. I’m smack dab in the middle at 145lbs. We would later be told our division was easily the closest, most intense, and most competitive. By the time we got started, we had been watching the kids roll all morning. I was super excited, but also a bit nervous. I hadn’t competed in anything in about 7 years, and back in the day I was super competitive, and took losses pretty hard. But now I’m a young man! I was ready to go out, try my absolute best, have fun, and not get injured.

My first match was against the youngest and smallest of the bunch, Dean. The match began, and we were both full of adrenaline. He took me down early on and I got into guard, which is what I wanted.

By now I should probably explain how this sport works. Matches are 5 minutes, and you can win by either points when time runs out, or by submission. You get points by doing things like performing a takedown, advancing to a better position (like passing someone’s guard, getting to mount, getting someones back, etc.) or sweeping, which is essentially when you’re in a disadvantageous position and you reverse it, i.e, they have you in mount, you bridge your hips up, do a trap and roll, and topple them over, resulting in you on top.

Anyways, back to my first match! He took me down, and got into my guard, which is what I wanted, because there are some attacks I really like from guard. I went for one of those attacks right away: got my legs around his neck and an arm, putting him in a triangle. I held him in it for what felt like a whole minute. I was trying to cut the angle to lock in the choke, but I couldn’t get it. Eventually I had to let go because my legs were TUCKERED. But then I got to his back, and finished him with my signature rear naked choke. If you’re unfamiliar with the rear naked choke, refer to Monkey Monday 2 #13.

1-0. I move onto the next victim, Asai. Even though he is a year younger than me, this dude terrified me. He’s so strong, and just looks intense. Anyways, match begins, I don’t even really remember what happened. He took me down, spent a while trying to choke me but he didn’t have it. Eventually, I fatigued out, and he got me in some sick armbar setup, I hit a fantastic escape, but he still had my arm and quickly got me back into an armbar, this one finishing me. 1-1

My final match in the gi, for second place, was against Gavin, the oldest and biggest of us. Though we were both super tuckered (he had a super intense roll with Asai earlier), we went at it pretty hard. We both took this round a little smarter, not just burning ourselves out right away. I take him down, we scramble for a while, but then he gets me in a pretty tight ankle lock. I get out of that, but then my knee was twisted in a really bad space. I was in a spot where he could do an illegal move, called reaping, which wouldve snapped my MCL. Luckily, he’s a cool guy a didn’t want to do that (nor did he want to get disqualified, and he might not even have known how to reap anyways). Eventually I made my way out, which was awesome. We scrambled some more, I eventually got to his back and hit another signature RNC.

Finished 2-1, securing second place in my first division!

Next, we’ve got the same group of guys, this time rolling no-gi. No gi is a little more fast paced, since the grips are harder to maintain for a long time without having a gi to grab onto. I also don’t train no-gi specifically (which is pretty common at my level), but have practiced it enough that I still wanted to compete. A large portion of Jiujitsu carries over from gi to no-gi just fine, it just eliminates a few things you can do.

The match order was the exact same. Started with Dean. This was the quickest match of the day for our division. We spent most the time standing, trying to fish out an opening for a takedown. But eventually he took a shot for my legs… right into a standing guillotine. 1-0.

At this point, Gavin and I had been chopping it up and became friends pretty quickly. Dean and Asai are friends from the same gym, and they went easy on each other so that they didn’t burn out in preparation for their matches with us. This, combined with Asai beating me earlier, and then most recently, Gavin, meant Gavin and I both really wanted me to get a win on him. My friend David, who also offered to coach me for the tournament, explained that Asai was seriously tired from the day so far, especially after his recent match with Gavin. So going into our match, the plan was to take advantage of his fatigue.

So Asai and I begin. He was clearly not as explosive as our first match. I got a good takedown on him pretty quickly, and got to mount. He had no strength left, and I was basically able to hold mount for the entirety of the match. I mean, I didn’t just sit there and do nothing, but it was pretty anticlimactic. I won like, 17-0 with points. Now I’m sitting pretty at 2-0.

Going into the final match, we believed I had already locked up first place, since the only other person with 2 wins was Asai, whom I beat in the head to head. So going into my final match with Gavin, we both agreed to just have a bunch of fun and finish the day with a bang. So Gavin and I rolled, both going pretty hard, but also not rolling like our lives are on the line. We both went for some wacky stuff, were cracking jokes, and had everyone laughing. It was great. At one point, I had him in my guard, and we just took a mutual 15 second break, before saying “ready?” and continuing our roll. It was a great time. The round ended, and he had demolished me in points, ending my run with a 2-1 record.

Now, for the awards ceremony. We all went up there, and we were all really really confused when I was handed the second place ribbon, since all of us (and many other competitors) assumed I won the division. As it turns out, when there’s a tie, the head to head doesn’t actually matter. When there’s a tie, the winner goes to whoever had the most submissions. I was a little bummed at first, but was still super proud with how I did, and had a ton of fun. Shoutout Asai, he was really cool and offered to give me the first place ribbon, “It doesn’t feel right” he said. But I declined, telling him that I’ll just win next time.

So that was my day! I am now super duper sore, my whole body is in agony. I’m not sure I’ve ever physically pushed myself that far before. But it was so fun. First of many tournaments in the books.

-Nate

When I was staying with George, he put me on this underground dude named Wesley Randolph Eader. He makes folk hymns that sound like they’ve been around forever. For my Christian friends, this is some of the most awesome worship music around. For my non-Christian friends, you may find something to enjoy in Wesley! I absolutely adore this album and want to tell everyone I know about this dude.

-Nate

Candide, a classic written by Voltaire published in 1759, is AWESOME. I recently read this book for the second time, at George’s of course. Candide follows a kind, comically optimistic man named, well, Candide, as he encounters a series of very unfortunate events. This book is really short, and moves very quickly. It’s funny, satirical, yet also philosophical. The ending to this book is one of my favorite endings to any work of fiction, it is just so beautiful, and the last line is my favorite last line in any book. I won’t spoil anything for you guys, just go read it. It’s a super quick and easy read, and I can totally lend it to you, just ask.

-Nate