- Monkey Monday
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- Monkey Monday 2 #8
What’s the difference between a piano, tuna, and glue? You can tuna piano but you can’t piano tuna!
What’s up y’all, happy Monkey Monday. I just read some poetry given to me by the great Dr. Cawley! Unfortunately, I just read a poem about the death of a dog. Count your days Doc!
Monkey Monday 2 #8, gliding in…
Pio Prospects
My mysterious roommate Juan and I have been looking at getting a cat for our room. We’ve been talking about it for some time, and after our time with Milo, we know we’ll be able to take care of a cat just fine.
After scouring local sources, here are some of the most ELITE prospects to live with us in Pio hall! (Juan doesn’t know I’m doing this) (Juan we MUST get one of these)
Teddy
 | Stats Name: Teddy Sex: Female Age: 2y 7m Pros: Affectionate, loves to explore Cons: You’ll never know when she’s ACTUALLY surprised |
Gru
 | Stats Name: Gru Sex: Male Age: 8y 0m Pros: Can smell everything, even your thoughts Cons: Might try and steal the moon while you try to sleep |
Cheeto Puff
 | Stats Name: Cheeto Puff Sex: Male Age: 3y 1m Pros: Super smart, loves puzzles and whacking thinks Cons: Immunocompromised, and likely to shed (so leaves his cheeto dust everywhere) |
Bigfoot
 | Stats Name: Bigfoot Sex: Male Age: 0y 3m Pros: Already neutered Cons: Might appear blurry in photos |
Tickles
 | Stats Name: Tickles Sex: Female Age: 2y 6m Pros: Looks like she really really cares about you Cons: Better not live up to her name (I’m quite ticklish) |
Drake
 | Stats Name: Drake Sex: Male Age: 0y 5m Pros: Might get you some Grammy’s Cons: Has many allegations; Problematic |
Loofy
 | Stats Name: Loofy Sex: Male Age: 6y 2m Pros: Costs $1.25, Awesome nickname possibilities (Shaquille D’ Loofy, Lebron D’ Loofy, Giannis D’ Loofy) Cons: Can’t Swim |
Squeaky
 | Stats Name: Squeaky Sex: Female Age: 2y 0m Pros: Biracial Cons: Is a glutton. Will come running at the sound of treats |
Oogie Boogie
 | Stats Name: Oogie Boogie Sex: Female Age: 0y 4m Pros: Billingual Cons: Vessel for agents of destructive chaos |
Benadryl
 | Stats: Name: Benadryl Sex: Male Age: 2y 5m Pros: Looks AI Generated Cons: You might start feeling paranoia with him around |
Socket Wrench
 | Stats Name: Socket Wrench Sex: Waiting for marriage Age: 7y 1m Pros: Very handy Cons: Looks oddly human; lives all the way in Minnesota |
So these are the prospects! Promising draft class. Hopefully soon I can give yall an exciting update (cmon Juan).
-Nate
Pick of the Week
The Cranberries are pretty awesome. 90’s indie-rock legends. Bury The Hatchet is a certified hood classic album.
I really don’t have much to say. This album is pretty awesome, and creates a really cool atmosphere, go listen.
Shoutout Phoebe, my former music therapy upperclassman/coworker who’s a big Cranberries fan.
Also the album cover is sick. Like man, look at that eye. It’s so imposing. It’s watching you, like all those chameleons.
-Nate
Is It Ripe?
This summer, I was listening to an album by an artist who worked with another artist I liked and was hoping there would be some cool songs on his new album. I didn’t care for any songs on the album, except for this one random song called I Wasn’t There, that featured this random dude DERBY. LONG STORY SHORT, I was addicted to this one song, which had this experimental, twangy, flowy sound that I’d never heard before, and I wanted more.
Checked out DERBY, who is a relatively small artist (<100k monthly listeners), and he had a brand new album that dropped earlier in the year: Slugger. I listened to the first couple songs, was disappointed, and left it alone. The sound I heard on Slugger didn’t have that sound I wanted. The vocals were all pitched up really high and chippy, and it sounded almost like hyperpop, which I’m not the biggest fan of.
But I kept coming back to that one song, and thought “surely he has more stuff that sounds like this…”, so I kept returning to Slugger. After getting deeper into the album, I started to see the vision. Sure, the vocals were pitched really high, but I was starting to catch the unique sound he was going for, and it was…. pretty cool?
So I got hooked on Slugger! It was on loop for a good couple weeks. The first song, admittedly, sucks, and some of the lyrics across the songs make me cringe, but man there are some cool catchy tunes on here. I’m investing in DERBY now, and really excited to see him develop and mature his unique sound. He’s not there quite yet, but he’s got some crazy potential to be an awesome artist.
Last note: I think a huge draw for me to this music is cultural: I grew up in a small town in Minnesota that was always caught in the crossroads of a small town hunting/fishing culture, and a more modern, popular, social-media-aged youth. This music hits a very weird, specific, experimental, not quite country but still twangy, Bass Pro Shops and Cabella’s type vibe that feels homey and familiar for me, yet creative and innovative.
Favorite Songs: Money Fight, Move Like That, Glow, Gold, Two Step
-Nate
Ripeness: 6/10
Parin’s Publishment: Blub, Blub, Meow
Good news everyone! Salmon has returned to an Oregon River after 115 years. This is because four hydroelectric dams have been removed from the Klamath River. These fish are travelling 290 miles from the Pacific Ocean. This is a huge win for pescetarians. Enjoy your Monday!
Ashley’s Animals
Echidnas!
Echidnas are small spine covered mammals weighing 9.9 to 13lbs |  |
Echidnas resemble hedgehogs and anteaters, as well as having a similar diet, but they are not related to them. They are, however, related to the platypus. |  |
Wild echidnas are reported to live up to 16 years, but in captivity they have been recorded to live up to 50 years. |  |
Echidnas have one baby at a time called a puggle, which is laid in a leathery egg and carried around in the mothers’ pouch for up to 2 months, where it feeds on pink milk. |  |
Echidnas are native to Australia, New Guinea, and their surrounded islands. 2 of the 4 species are considered endangered. -Ashley |  |
Quan Quotes
“You know why he was nice to you? Cause he was with me earlier.”
Verse Of The Week
That which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.
Glue?
But what about the glue you ask?
You really want to know?
You need to know?
Yeah.
Most people get stuck on that part.