Hello my friends! It is Monday! It has been approximately 2 months since my roommates last did their dishes and I’m going to explode! But all is good in the hood around here, was a long long week, lots of strenuous guitar playing, but a great relaxing weekend! Got to take my lady out to dinner, build a LEGO set, and watch some Bluey! Shoutout Frog Bingo.

Monkey Monday 2 #5, strumming in…

Top 15 Qubo

Qubo. If you don’t know what Qubo is, congrats! Your parents might be rich! But for us peasants who didn’t get no Nickelodeon, no Disney Channel, no Cartoon Network, we were left with Qubo: the free, over-the-air kids channel! And MAN there were some bangers on there! Top 15 lets go.

(Forewarning, I haven’t seen 90% of these shows in over ten years, so this will be almost entirely dictated by nostalgia.)

15. Pearlie

Aight starting off we got PEARLIE! IN THE HOUSE! Like a good portion of the shows on this list, I really can’t remember a cohesive thing about this show; it’s just a bunch of glimpses and fragments of specks in my mind. Pearlie follows the fairy Pearlie, and her fairy friends Jasper and (I don’t remember her name) as they solve problems and navigate schemes plotted by their fairy opps.

I distinctly remember an episode where Jasper was playing a full drum kit with just his open hands, no sticks. These guys had a lot of opps. There was this dorky little bat dude, this diva goth fairy, this zesty pompous brat fairy dude, and some rats.

14. Willa’s Wild Life

Okay so here’s the thing, I remember like NOTHING about this show, but I DO remember at one point saying that it was my favorite show on the channel, so that’s gotta count for something. So we follow Willa, a young girl who has a lot of animals, and you watch her and all her animal friends get into antics. She ALSO has opps, these mean-girl-esque triplets who are essentially just clones of each other with different color palettes . Also shoutout her friend Dooley, who looks like Parin.

13. Jane and the Dragon

OH BOY my sister might tweak at me placing this so low. I had a hard time deciding where to put this show, because it’s pretty fun. But at the end of the day, all 15 of these shows occupy a warm space in my heart, and the 3d models in this show are UGLY. I hate the way they move, the way they talk, and how ANNOYING that ugly little prince is. I cannot stand that brat.

Anyways, we follow the titular lady in waiting who decided that a girl could be a knight, Jane! She becomes buds with a dragon named Dragon! The kingdom (which has like 20 people living in it) is full of drama and problems, and we watch as they all try to sort it out and become buds. But yeah Dragon is hilarious. Shoutout Dragon.

12. Pecola

Okay I remember loving this show. Basically, everyone is block shaped like minecraft, and Pecola the penguin gets into wacky antics. There’s also this poor monkey who’s just trying to sell melons, but his melon stand always gets knocked over :(, I totaly understand why he’s so grumpy.

11. The Zula Patrol

ZULA PATROL! The Guardians of the Galaxy before it was cool. We got these dudes traveling around space, planet to planet, just trying to patrol things and help everyone they can! Unfortunately, they too have opps! But their opp is actually really scary looking. And his sidekick is a sentient space wig, who sits on his head.

10. 3-2-1 Penguins!

More space patrollers! You follow twins Jason and Michelle, as they get shrunk/sucked into by their grandmother’s toy penguin space ship! In the ship, they meet the esteemed space penguin crew: Zidgel, the charismatic and fearless leader, Midgel the tactical engineer and pilot, Fidgel the old, brilliant doctor and scientist, and Kevin!

These guys also have an opp! The scary Baron Von Cavitus, who is a terrifying warlord made of metal…….. at least that’s his armor. In reality, he’s a hamster who was bullied into being evil! Also the twins argue and fight alot, and conflict resolution is often the main goal. Shoutout Kevin. Banger theme song too.

9. Turbo Dogs

Similar to Willa’s Wild Life, I distinctly recall hailing Turbo Dogs as my favorite show on all of television. We follow a group of nascar-driving dogs. You got number 1, Dash, the noble leader. You got number 2, Mags, the girl dog. You got number 3, GT, the mechanic. You got number 5 Strut, the selfish dog who always fumbles the bag. Number 6, Stinkbert, he’s stinky. And number 7, Clutch, who I remember nothing about.

There’s also a chicken who’s trying to cross the road every episode, and always has a near death experience. That’s the best part of the show. Shoutout that pizza delivery dog too.

8. Adventures from the Book of Virtues

Okay this show was near IMPOSSIBLE to rank properly. I remember almost nothing about this show, but I remember my sister and I getting super hyped when it came on, because it was kind of a rare occasion. My guess, is that the show was slightly geared towards older kids, so it was never on when we were watching TV, but I could be wrong.

All I remember about this show is that they find themselves in some dilemma, and then their wise buffalo friend reads them a story from the book of virtues, and they learn a lesson that helps them in real life. The only story I even vaguely remember was Tom Sawyer painting a fence. Shoutout that Buffalo/Bison, he was wise.

7. Gofrette

We’ve made it to the final seven. From here on out, these are all HEAVY HITTERS of my childhood. We follow Gofrette, the italian cat, along with his wacky circus performer cousin Garbanzo, and his best friends Fudge and Ellie.

I remember like NOTHING about this show, besides the creative, zany design of everything. I remember they go to this diner all the time and get shakes, and his friend Ellie Copter has a propeller on her head and flies around everywhere. Also, I remember joking that my cat Padmé was on tv, because she looked a lot like Gofrette.

6. My Friend Rabbit

THUMPEKA! MY FRIEND RABBIT DON’T SLEEP ON MY BOY. This show was goated. You got Rabbit, you got Mouse, you got Hazel, you got Thunder, you got Edweena, you got Jasper, and you got the FOUR GIBBLE GEESE GIRLS!

This show generally follows as one of the friends gets into a sticky situation, where Rabbit and Mouse then try to help solve their problem! This show is sick, all the characters are chill and the theme song slaps.

5. Jacob Two-Two

They call me two-two. Jacob Two-Two.

Man we’ve talked about opps on this list, but NOBODY had it as bad as Jacob Two-Two. Bro’s nickname came from people making fun of his speech impediment. He’s got a big family, and almost all of his siblings are out to get him. His teacher is a disgusting villain, principal Greedy Guts is a bum, and also evil. But Jacob and his best friend Buford stand up against all odds and combat the wretched, depraved world. Seriously, the art direction of this show did such a great job creating a gross, vile atmosphere.

Shoutout Jacob Two-Two, shoutout Buford, shoutout the french girl that their friends with, and shoutout those twin siblings who are in a cult.

4. Rescue Heroes

When I was making my rough draft of the rankings, this show was by far the biggest surprise for me. When I think of Qubo shows, this is not one that comes to mind. In fact, I forgot it existed until I was looking at the list of shows. But man, something in my gut kept bumping this show higher and higher up the list.

For all you youngins out there, Rescue Heroes were these awesome action figures that we played with when we were little. All the characters were some kind of first responder, like a firefighter, a police officer, or even some deep sea medics. After the success of the toy line, they got their own show! It’s pretty basic, you follow our incredible first responder protagonists as they save peoples lives. That’s pretty much it. But it’s awesome. Shoutout Rocky, the new blood, who started out making lots of mistakes but eventually became a reliable part of the team.

3. The Magic School Bus

You already know why it’s this high on the list. It’s the Frizz.

I actually forgot this was a Qubo show until I looked over the list, and had to double check with my sister if we watched it on Qubo. After getting the confirmation that I did indeed watch this show all the time, I had no choice but to put it at number 3. It almost feels cheap, having such a heavy hitter invade this list, but it would be a disservice to the greatness of the show to leave it out.

In case you’re amish, or 7 years old, The Magic School Bus follows Miss Frizzle and her classroom as they take the magic school bus onto insane, but educational field trips. You got shrinking to a microscopic level and entering one of the students bodies to learn about the human body, you got flying to space to learn about planets, shrinking down and going inside a computer. It’s pretty sick, and the cast of characters are all special. Shoutout Arnold man, he didn’t want ANYTHING to do with all that, but he would still come back to school the next day.

2. Babar

Okay, the top two absolutely SMOKE the rest of the list. Ain’t no doubt about it. Babar is a show based on the french books of the same name, following our wise glorious brave king of the elephants, Babar, as he retells stories of his youth to his 4 elephant kids. This show is awesome. I love Babar. It’s magical, I sleep with a big stuffed elephant in my arms every single night whom I named Babar.

Also, the opening theme to this show is so beautiful. It’s actually how I got the idea to make this list, as last week I transcribed a guitar arrangement of the Babar theme. Shoutout Babar man, I love you. But you’re #2.

1. Rupert

THAT’S WHY HE’S THE GOAT! THE GOOOOOOAT!!!!!!!

Also based off books, Rupert follows our hero Rupert, a witty and intelligent bear from a small village named Nutwood, as he travels the mystical world, solving mysteries, battling great foes, and making great friendships.

Rupert’s so sick. He’s so clever and smart, and he’s a loyal friend. He’s usually accompanied by one of his many good friends on his travels. His world is so magical, full of monsters, mythical creatures, kings, wizards. It’s so magical man.

Rupert is one of the nearest and dearest fictional characters to my heart, and an icon that (along with Babar) represents much of my childhood. Shoutout Rupert. Shoutout Bill Badger, shoutout those old scientist and wizard dudes that were always helping my boy Rupe. Shoutout my sister Miranda who watched all these shows with me, and thus got to share in these childhood memories, I love you!

-Nate

October Playlist!

One thing I like to do is make monthly playlists on Spotify! I do this for convenience, to compile some stuff in my rotation into one playlist, but I also like to use it as a cool snapshot that can take me back to whatever season of life I was in. You can expect repeating artists and themes contained in each playlist. I really like to hit a specific atmosphere with each one. This one for example, you’ll see a TON of bossanova, as well as some folkier stuff, so it’s more chill this time around. Last month however, had louder, heavier, erratic, energetic sounds.

I’ve been wanting to share them with y’all for some time, but kept forgetting about it, until today! So if you’re a Spotify user looking for fresh tunes for the month, give this (or any of the past playlists on my profile for that matter) a looksie! So from now on, once a month, you can expect this section to have the monthly playlist instead of an album. Enjoy!

-Nate

Is It Ripe?

This summer, the legendary Dijon dropped his second full length LP, Baby, a followup to one of my favorite albums ever (which I have featured in the past), 2021’s Absolutely. Dijon does it right. No huge marketing, nothing crazy. Just announce the album a week in advance, and let your insane aura generate the hype for you.

But is it good? RAHHHH YOU BET IT IN ITS DIJON BABY!!!!!! I was wondering what direction he would take his next project, since Absolutely felt like an incredible, concise project that you can’t recreate organically. So he did a completely different thing! Where Absolutely feels raw, fresh, organic and smooth, Baby feels experimental, groovy, funky, and romantic, overall very Prince-esque.

The photograph used for the cover paints a really beautiful image of what to expect from the album. It’s a photograph from his wedding a few years ago, and man this album just makes you want to get married and start a family. The first line of the album, “Yes I danced with your mother before I knew her name,” singing to his child about his wife, is so sweet and sentimental, and that’s the tone for pretty much the whole album: an overflow of love and joy for his wife, his son, and even a song about his father, my man.

Favorite Songs: Baby!, Another Baby!, HIGHER, Yamaha, FIRE!, Rewind, Automatic

-Nate

Ripeness: 9/10

Interview Time!

Ashley’s Animals

Parin’s Proverb

I’m so sorry I don’t know why I thought giving Parin this column was a good idea.

-Nate

Quan Quotes

Verse Of The Week