- Monkey Monday
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- Monkey Monday 2 #15
Howdy y’all! This is Nate, coming to you from the Land of 10,000 Lakes, the home of Paul Bunyan! That’s right, the semester is over and I’m back home for a couple days to celebrate Christmas with my family!
Lucia and I have had a busy weekend building LEGOs, playing board games (she has yet to beat me, of course), and watching Bluey/Stranger Things. So needless to say, I’m writing all of this late on Sunday night!
For those who celebrate, I hope you have a merry Christmas! Love y’all, and have a great Monday!
Monkey Monday 2 #15, skating in…
Stink, Stank, STUNK!
Alright y’all. Be honest. Do you REALLY like the music that comes with the holiday season? All the Santa songs, the snow songs, are we REALLY rocking with them? Well that’s what we are going to find out: which songs are rockin’ around a particular tree, and which ones STINK STANK STUNK.
Behold, our tiers:
A couple disclaimers before we start:
Disclaimer 1. I did not make the entries, I simply made the tiers and ordered them. It just so happens that these are a vast So apologies if your favorite Christmas song is not on here.
On that note; Disclaimer 2. The songs included in this list are secular Christmas songs. So if you are expecting some of your favorite baby Jesus songs like Silent Night, my apologies. Maybe next year we can do that, but it didn’t feel right to mix the two.
Let us proceed!
STINK! STANK! STUNK
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town - SANTA IS NOT REAL STOP THE INDOCTRINATION AHHHHHHHHH. I despise this song.
Santa Baby - While I would say this song is worse, because its just weird yo, at least it’s not LYING to kids. Santa Claus is NOT COMING TO TOWN.
I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas - It’s goofy, but that’s it. Otherwise I find this song annoying.
A Wonderful Christmas Time - If this title doesn’t ring a bell, don’t worry, Lucia had to sing the melody for me. This is the Paul McCartney song that goes like “siiimply haaaaving a wonderful Christmas time.” It’s forgettable and generic, and I don’t want to hear it.
Mary Did You Know - Man. The list actually had a Jesus song in it. (pardon the earlier disclaimer, I made that after this song somehow snuck in here.) And for the one Jesus song, they picked the worst. I cannot express how boring and borderline corny this song is to me.
I really don’t care for them
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas - Now we are starting to get into the songs that I don’t really dislike, I would just never choose to listen to them. This first song is a great example. It’s melodic, and pretty, but there are songs that do it better that we will talk about later.
Underneath the Tree - Another song I couldn’t instantly remember, this is the Kelly Clarkson song that is super upbeat and energetic. I just don’t care for this song, it’s so saturating.
Winter Wonderland - Another fine song.
Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree - Another fine song, like the others. Generic Christmas song.
Let it Snow - Yet another generic Christmas song.
Baby it’s Cold Outside - Okay I’m too lazy to remake the whole list, but this song should be way lower. It’s creepy, get it outta here.
Frosty the Snowman - Frosty is cool (heh), chill even (hah). Buuuuuuuuut not my favorite mythological Christmas song.
Solid like ice
Jingle Bell Rock - A better version of Rockin’ Around. It’s fun.
You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch - Alright, this one’s pretty fun and memorable, but I wouldn’t put it on repeat by any means. Some funny moments in this song though, shoutout the Grinch man.
Last Christmas - This song is basically just a worse version of another song to come. It’s not bad, but yeah.
The Christmas Song - AKA Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. This is a really pretty, swoony song, minus the one no-longer-socially-acceptable-usage of the word describing native Alaskan folk.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - The better creature song! Rudolph is fun, and it’s always nice to reminisce on how he got the job as lead reindeer.
It’s the Most Wonderful time of the Year - Another fun, solid song that doesn’t rank all that high for me.
Sleigh Ride - This song had some deviously fast chord changes when our jazz ensemble played it, but otherwise it’s a good song.
Hood classics
All I Want for Christmas is You - Literally if this song wasn’t as overplayed as it is (which I will say, the chart-topping nature of this song is objectively funny), it would be higher on the list. Amazing song.
Carol of the Bells - The lone instrumental song on this list. Carol of the bells is a HOOD CLASSIC. Nothing brings a dramatic Christmas vibe like hearing that “bum dadabum bum dadabum.”. And then the one part that goes “DUM DADADADADUM DADADADADADUM DADADADADADUM DUM DUM DUM lalalalalalala MERRY CHRISTMAS lalalalalaalal MERRY CHRISTMAS” and so on and so forth.
White Christmas - An even BETTER swoony Christmas song. “Juuuuust like the one’s I uuuuuused to knooooooow”.
The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late) - When I saw this song on the tier list, something in my head cracked open. Before tonight, there was an 11 year blank hole in my head that got filled. This song is so perfect, but the fact that I forgot it for so long means it probably shouldn’t be at the tippy top of this list. But man, “Me, I want a HUUUULA HOOOOOP” is so heavenly.
BLISS
Feliz Navidad - Top three. Let’s go. FELIZ NAVIDAD, (bum da bum bum, bum bum) FELIZ NAVIDAD! That’s all I know. Absolute CLASSIC. Viva Mexico!
Silver Bells - The GOAT of swoony, beautiful Christmas songs. Don’t ignore the bells.
A Charlie Brown Christmas - While technically not one song, it was on the list so I couldn’t NOT include it. I wrote briefly about this soundtrack last week, but it’s just so good. These songs transport me back to a simpler, cozier, happier time. It’s just so gooood man, nothing here beats it (except maybe that Chipmunk one. TBD).
So there we have it. The supreme opinion on classic Christmas songs. As always, here is the final, completed list:
-Nate
Pick of the Week
The Smiths. Pretty good British indie rock band. Was listening to my record of this album while making waffles with my beautiful Lucia. Go listen if you want.
-Nate
Is It Ripe?
Ender’s Game. I watched the 2013 movie adaptation a few times as a kid, and remember really loving it, but apparently that’s not a popular opinion. I’ve heard multiple times that the book is a krillion times better, so last weekend, during my long drive to visit my niece, I listened to the audiobook.
For those unfamiliar, Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card is a science-fiction novel from 1985. It follows a hyper-genius young boy named Ender Wiggin, who is being surveyed by the military to potentially qualify for command school, where young boys are trained to become the next great space fleet commander. The earth has recently survived two attacks from an intelligent alien species, and must produce a new tactical genius to serve as space fleet commander if humanity has any hopes of surviving a third attack.
Reading from Ender’s perspective is crazy. Ender is so, so smart, in a way that feels realistic and believable. Though complicated, his thought process is so logical and makes the conclusions his brain reaches feel so obvious, even to us readers. It’s fascinating. And the plot man, the PLOT is so good. This kid Ender gets put through the ringer, yet prevails with his massive brain time and time again, it’s so awesome.
And that’s just Ender. There are so many crazy characters in this book; don’t get me started on his older siblings who are casually conquering the world while Ender is in space school.
This book is full of intense twists and turns, and I cannot recommend it enough. It’s thrilling, gripping, unpredictable, and emotional (I almost started crying at one point). If you know how to read, go read this book, it’s insane.
-Nate
Ripeness: 9.5/10
Interview Time!
This week we interview amateur father: Amos!
Ashley’s Animals
Okapi!
Okapi are large, elusive herbivores weighing 440-770 lbs, and standing 5’25”-6’.7” tall |  |
Okapi have striped legs that help them camouflage like a zebra. However, their closest (and only) living relative is actually the giraffe! |  |
Okapi were once thought to be mythological animals until their “discovery” by western science in the early 1900’s. |  |
Okapi have a long (12-14”) black tongue they use for gathering food, swatting bugs away, and even cleaning their ears. |  |
Wild okapi are currently found only in the Democratic Republic of Congo, and are endangered due to poaching and habitat loss from logging and mining. -Ashley |  |
Parin’s Proverb
“High beams in the fog reduces the drivers visibility. Santa, in a foggy Christmas, used Rudolph. Santa is a bad driver.”
Quan Quotes
Verse Of The Week
But you, O Bethlehem Ephrathah,
who are too little to be among the clans of Judah,
from you shall come forth for me
one who is to be ruler in Israel,
whose coming forth is from of old,
from ancient days.