Welcome to the very first annual Monkey Monday Banana Awards! The most prestigious newsletter award show on the planet! (source: trust me bro)
The Banana Award is the greatest award that we here at Monkey Monday are allowed to bestow within the legal confides of our newsletter. Similar to other, less prestigious awards, like the Grammy’s or the Oscar’s, we have multiple categories, all across the Monkey Monday spectrum.
The 2024 Monkey Monday Award show will be hosted by none other than us, the writers at Monkey Monday! So if you get sick of one host, don’t worry, because a new one is right around the corner!
Also, Keep an eye out for our special polls, where you, our beloved readers, decide winners for certain categories!
2024 Banana Awards, struttin’ in….
Your first host… Parin, the Pharmacy Tech!
Best Celcius Flavor 2024
Peach Vibe
Runnerups:
Fuji Apple Pear
Mango Passionfruit
Orange
Celsius is an energy drink that contains roughly 200 milligrams of caffeine (roughly two and a half cups of coffee) and lots of micronutrients. I have been drinking Celcius for two years now trying a decent amount of the flavors so I’d argue I am an expert opinion
Healthiest Fruit 2024
Kiwi
Runnerups:
Blueberry
Orange
Avacado
You Vote!
Walking dapperly to the stage…. Baldboy Ben!
Best Sports Moment 2024
Caitlin Clark Breaks The Record
Runnerups:
Georgia vs. Georgia Tech
Freddie Freeman Home Run
USA Wins Men’s Gold in Basketball
I could have taken this in all sorts of directions. But if you had the opportunity and the pleasure of watching Catlin Clark play basketball for even 5 minutes while she was at Iowa, you understand how unstoppable she was.
Best Word 2024
Rizz
Runnerups:
Yap
Sigma
Aura
Full transparency, I love the word “yap” more than maybe any word ever created. However, rizz has completely changed the way humans communicate. If “rizz” has not found its way into your vocabulary by now, you gotta step up your game.
Best Carroll Bathroom 2024
Outside the LC
Runnerups:
Pioneer Hallway
Humphrey Basement
Library, next to computer lab
The bathrooms next to the LC are elite! But I must give a shoutout to the beautiful decor of the one in the Humphrey Art Center as well. I discovered this one while taking a photography class there my first semester and oh boy it is exquisite.
You Vote!
Best College Football Name 2024?
Crabwalking in… Great Animal Sage Ashley!
Best Animal Celebrity 2024
Moo Deng the Hippo
Runnerups:
Pesto the Penguin
Terrance the Octopus
Flaco the Owl
Shoutout to the internet sensation Kabosu, the shiba inu, the OG Doge, who passed away of old age this year
You Vote!
Best Drink 2024?
Best Movie 2024?
And finally… Nate, the Caucasian Clipper!
Nate’s Best Catchphrase 2024
“Mwa, Ha, Ha…”
Runnerups:
“What da dog doin?”
“Looks just like my ex-wife!”
“Yooo is that the mattababy?”
Ah yes, iconic Nate catchphrases. Honestly they are more like ticks than anything, as I just get addicted to saying certain phrases for a couple months. If you know me you know. All of these are super hype, but the classic, deep voiced, supervillain “Mwah, Ha, Ha,” with my hands folded at the fingertips is so maniacal, and is the only one my girlfriend actually made me stop doing, so bonus points for that.
Best Song 2024
Texas Blue - Quadeca
Runnerups:
“ROCKMAN”- Mk.gee
“Juna” - Clairo
“S P E Y S I D E” - Bon Iver
For Best Song, I was torn between two frontrunners: ROCKMAN, and the winner, Texas Blue. Both of these songs are so incredible, and while ROCKMAN has some crazy replayability, (it was my most streamed song of 2024, even though it released in October), I think Texas Blue is a masterpiece of a song. Shoutout Quadonka!
Best Coffee Shop 2024
Cafe De Arts
Runner Ups:
Waukesha Cafe House
Copilot Coffee Co.
Best Coffee Shop! All three of these coffee shops have built strong résumés in my heart this year. Copilot just launched this past year, and is a frequent meeting spot for me, Waukesha Cafe House has incredible service, friendly staff, and very good drinks, but I have to give it to Cafe De Arts. They are also super kind, with some of the best coffee, and sandwiches, I’ve ever had in my life. Love those guys.
You Vote!
Best Quan Quote 2024?
Best Interview 2024?
And that wraps up the first ever, Monkey Monday Banana Awards! Thank you all for tuning in!
We all do this for fun, and some weeks it can be really hard to get an issue fully put together on time, so we really appreciate every one of you who reads, and we hope we can put a little smile in your day!
As for your votes, the results will be in the next issue!
Stay safe, eat some bananas, drink some water! We love y’all.
Verse Of The Week
“But he was pierced for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.”
